1. “No, no I did make a purchase from Canada yesterday. It was yarn.” *
2. “I could totally watch three spring training games at once right now.”
3. “Oh my god, Kristen Bell is on Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me this week?!?”
* As said to my bank’s fraud prevention rep, by way of explaining that one of the three questionable foreign transactions on my card in the last 24 hours was actually legit. Don’t worry, everything’s fine and I’m kind of super impressed with my bank right now.